Change:
I attribute this important lesson in life to my dear cousin Ponni, who actually helped me realize this.
One of the most important lessons I've learnt in life.
We should never expect ANYONE to change. Since it is not a choice. Reason: We cannot control another person's thought or mind, unless they choose to...
We cannot and should not expect anyone to... including ourselves; we can only choose to change ourselves (and nobody but ourselves) if we want to; and that will only happen if we truly believe we can and want to. With others, you can only hope for a compromise.
On the same topic, here is some food for thought.
We always say that we want to change. Why don't we say, we want to transform...?
Change could be temporary; transformation is longer, in most cases almost forever.
I learnt that from my close friend, Deepak Chandar, who wrote Karna - The Mortal God.
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Stress / Pain:
Back in February 2012, my yoga-friend Perry mentioned in a testimonial at Bikram Boise that pain is TOTALLY personal.
So true. It is so sad when we sometimes think, "Ah, why is he stressing for nothing?!?"
Stress, by itself does not know when it hits someone's brain, "Okay, I should reside in John's body for so many days / hours, as he is going through situation X..."!!!
or
"Oh, I have to hit Mary with this impact and reside in her system for so long..."
It does not know what the cause is, for it to be there in small or big quantities.
If we think about it, it is the DURATION that makes stress more painful or less painful. The stress on our mind is the same whether we miss a flight or are late for work, or when we lose a close family member / loved one. What varies is just the amount of time it takes to recover, from each stressful situation.
It's just that we recover quickly from the stress resulting from getting in late into the office, whereas we are in deep anguish and constant pain when it comes to the loss of a loved one.
That leads to another observation - that pain and suffering are two different things - you can be in physical pain from a vehicular accident, but you can suffer traumatic stress from the experience, even years later. Does that mean that suffering is a choice? Hmmm... looks like it.
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Detachment:
It's amazing how we can give free advice all the time to people around us, but when it comes to our own selves, its tougher... And here's why, I think: When we are going through the motions, there's emotion involved, where we go through extreme feelings... The feelings influence the thoughts.
Thoughts and feelings are different (though we confuse them to be the same, most of the time). Here's what I've been trying to do, lately. Look at things from a third person angle; like a counselor. See if I can sit back and observe myself; like a counselor or a third party, when Chandrasekhar (your's truly) is going through the motions. :D
Also, learning with each passing day that what matters the most is the process / journey, and not the result / outcome... cause that's the only thing we have control on - the NOW. (When we don't have much control on the outcome of what we do..)
Wish they taught that at school. But again, the education system's onus is on the results - lol...
__________________________________________________________
"Are you out of your mind, yet? Cause that's where sanity is..." LOL!!
I attribute this important lesson in life to my dear cousin Ponni, who actually helped me realize this.
One of the most important lessons I've learnt in life.
We should never expect ANYONE to change. Since it is not a choice. Reason: We cannot control another person's thought or mind, unless they choose to...
We cannot and should not expect anyone to... including ourselves; we can only choose to change ourselves (and nobody but ourselves) if we want to; and that will only happen if we truly believe we can and want to. With others, you can only hope for a compromise.
On the same topic, here is some food for thought.
We always say that we want to change. Why don't we say, we want to transform...?
Change could be temporary; transformation is longer, in most cases almost forever.
I learnt that from my close friend, Deepak Chandar, who wrote Karna - The Mortal God.
__________________________________________________________
Stress / Pain:
Back in February 2012, my yoga-friend Perry mentioned in a testimonial at Bikram Boise that pain is TOTALLY personal.
So true. It is so sad when we sometimes think, "Ah, why is he stressing for nothing?!?"
Stress, by itself does not know when it hits someone's brain, "Okay, I should reside in John's body for so many days / hours, as he is going through situation X..."!!!
or
"Oh, I have to hit Mary with this impact and reside in her system for so long..."
It does not know what the cause is, for it to be there in small or big quantities.
If we think about it, it is the DURATION that makes stress more painful or less painful. The stress on our mind is the same whether we miss a flight or are late for work, or when we lose a close family member / loved one. What varies is just the amount of time it takes to recover, from each stressful situation.
It's just that we recover quickly from the stress resulting from getting in late into the office, whereas we are in deep anguish and constant pain when it comes to the loss of a loved one.
That leads to another observation - that pain and suffering are two different things - you can be in physical pain from a vehicular accident, but you can suffer traumatic stress from the experience, even years later. Does that mean that suffering is a choice? Hmmm... looks like it.
__________________________________________________________
Detachment:
It's amazing how we can give free advice all the time to people around us, but when it comes to our own selves, its tougher... And here's why, I think: When we are going through the motions, there's emotion involved, where we go through extreme feelings... The feelings influence the thoughts.
Thoughts and feelings are different (though we confuse them to be the same, most of the time). Here's what I've been trying to do, lately. Look at things from a third person angle; like a counselor. See if I can sit back and observe myself; like a counselor or a third party, when Chandrasekhar (your's truly) is going through the motions. :D
Also, learning with each passing day that what matters the most is the process / journey, and not the result / outcome... cause that's the only thing we have control on - the NOW. (When we don't have much control on the outcome of what we do..)
Wish they taught that at school. But again, the education system's onus is on the results - lol...
__________________________________________________________
"Are you out of your mind, yet? Cause that's where sanity is..." LOL!!
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